Honorable intentions or secondary intention

When we are single we look for love, everyone has reasons for dating but not everyone has the same intentions. Relationships can be difficult, not everyone has honourable intentions some individuals who no longer enjoy their relationship are looking to find love through online dating without leaving their partner.

The use of anonymous internet dating and the change in peoples values makes it much easier for even those who are supposedly committed to cheat on their partners. Historically the teachings in the church and a commitment to god and his teachings would limit opportunities for a committed individual. However with the change in social ethics and a focus on sexual gratification this is no longer the case.

When it comes to the older generation the family values and belief in the teachings in church are still strong. However as we get older one partner will live on longer than the other, finding love again can be difficult, so specialist match making organisations cater for the senior citizens. There is however an underl;ying reason for offering the opportunity for mature dating. It is more common for the older individual to have built up a nest egg, so the focus is to take advantage of the wealthier nature of the mature individual looking to find new love.

Most people have needs they want a companion of some description although some appear to be happy without are they really fulfilled inside? Its difficult to tell after all if they missed their opportunity they may have come to terms with their life without finding love. In general terms however we all need companionship, those who don't have a partner tend to fill the gap with friends or physical activities involving others. Interaction between people is healthy, a life without personal contact is surely a sad one. Experience in the eastern block with children locked in cages, supposedly an orphanage has shown that their health can be affected to such an extent that they die. 

Casual Sex is common for those who meet online, cyber sex now starts at an early age, reportedly teenagers as young as 14 are now accessing chat and pornography sites looking for sexual experiences. Many young adults search for a date merely for a quickie. I remember from my youth I used to attend the gym regularly, usually 2 or 3 times a week. There was a sauna in the gym where the men wore swimming trunks and the wore a towel, often naked underneath. The innuendos were rife of course and casual sex later in the evening common place,  I remember one girl saying "just a quick bonk and that's it" I was surprised to find she was in her thirties though. It may have been her experience leading her to be like that as she was in the process of getting a divorce.

Young people who are communicating online are looking to find romance online without any though for honourable intentions. The days of chivalry are gone the most honorable intentions are to make sure she actually wants sex before forcing yourself on her. There are so many dating web sites for adults that youngsters are not catered for. If you are over 18 dating in the UK there are many safeguards to ensure you don't put yourself at risk. Young people just chat online with limited restrictions and safeguards in many cases. They have to be looking intentionally but a recent documentary interviewed school children who said yes they were exposed and even looking for porn every day.

Offering love and marriage is often one way to achieve a secondary intention, "to get into her knickers". Often spoken in jest by a group of guys out "on the pull", but it can be all too true.

It's a shame in my opinion that most people with apparently honourable intentions have a secondary intention to get to the bed room as quickly as possible. Love is so much more fulfilling in my opinion.

Paul Palmer